Serious. I really, really, REALLY did something stupid. I like to look at the positive side of things so I'll start with that but man it's more bad than good.
-Got my new computer. It's working and it is faster than my old 2011 mac.
-Things are all paid for this school semester. Don't need to worry about finances again until December...sorta.
-I didn't hurt myself.
-I finally got pokemon go on my phone. Been a major help actually to keep me from dwelling on my sorrowful mood the past week. It's...oddly addicting, and helps with exercise.
-I followed advice and saved the file containing every gift or trade or commission I ever got on a flash drive. Thank you very much for the advice!!
Now for the bad.
-I wasn't thinking. I went to get my old computer fixed. It's STILL IN THE I-STORE. Most likely, every single thing will be erased in order to clear it out and fix stuff. Also new battery. Yay me. Why is that bad? Because I DIDN'T SAVE ANYTHING I MYSELF WORKED ON! I didn't think all the school stuff would fit on that same flash drive so I didn't think twice about saving my own stories or school past assignments. Not to mention school software that cost me a lot of money in the past that I will have to find a way to get back...................yeah. It's really a bad thing.
I may just be freaking out for no reason. Maybe they won't have to clear/erase everything. I really hope not!!!!!!!
-Earlier I said sorta when it came to finances. Why? Because one semester is not a full year of college. I've worked so many hours the past two months I've covered almost all of next semester but it isn't enough. I'm going to work ONE part time job during the fall semester so the rest of next year's semester will be taken care of. I won't feel overwhelmed since I don't have to worry about two jobs
but still...I really hoped that I wouldn't have to work during the fall........sad about that.
-Freaking out about writing and drawing. I have no clue what the heck is wrong with me it's been affecting me for most of 2016. It's bad. I need to stop worrying so much about not being good enough but it's every single freakin day now, every time I start even thinking of doing writing or a sketch my mind freezes up and wants to do something else. Then I feel bad about NOT doing what I WANT to accomplish so I end up wasting time feeling down on myself. It's a terrible cycle of emotion...
Basically I've been in a panic the past 3 days because of my own doing. I hope that things are not as bad as I think they will be. Who knows...maybe things will work out fine
I just got to say what's in my head. I hope to fix myself so I'm back to normal soon
Sorry about the downer journal...but it needed to be said.
Got to go to work until past midnight. I'll be back tomorrow
I won't stay away again for a few days like I just did.